Seeking the keys

I received my driver’s license in the mail today. 

That may not sound like a big deal for most, as it is something you accomplish when you are in high school (speaking from personal experience). I have been living in Los Angeles for 6 years now. Last month I reached my quarter-life era – the big two-five. I have been dwelling on the fact that there has not been much turbulence in my life as an adult. I decided to make it a goal to obtain a California driver’s License last year. Unfortunately, as usual, “time went by too quickly”, and “I am not mentally there yet.” Excuses, excuses, excuses.

The moment the year 2023 came around, my mind really threw a curveball of reality into my face. I am now at an age where my mind is filled with dramatic, life-changing thoughts. “I should be preparing for a down payment on a mortgage! I should be setting myself up toward a long-time career of choice! Sooner than later, friends around me will most likely be married, or pregnant!” – The thoughts begin to pollute my brain. At age twenty-five, I have to say I have accomplished a lot. I live in one of the most sought-after cities in the country, I have a beautiful apartment with my partner, I have been a proud dog mom since the age of twenty, and I have a job where I feel confident. But the biggest adulting step I have been missing all this time was freedom. Freedom would be a special feat of adulting. But there are many ways to achieve such a vast missing piece. You can be alone and learn self-love with no one tying you down. You can move out of your hometown and find yourself in a new city. You can cut ties with a group of people to make new friends. Although there are endless possibilities, for me, the most important was having freedom of mobility. The key to that was earning a driver’s license. 

You may be wondering “Why is she writing a piece over something that can be obtained relatively easily?” Why yes, you may be right. I was able to get my driver’s license within 3 months of practicing day and night. So to answer that question, yes, it was easier than I ever imagined. I had to get over many different fears that surrounded the possibility of achieving the key to freedom of mobility. With my dear friend leaving us in 2017 due to a horrible car accident, being in 3 different car accidents during my high school years, the intrusive thoughts of dying horribly in an Uber ride every other day.. The list goes on. My mind wanders to places where it can feel very dark, and getting out does not come easy. So, long story short, this was a very difficult key to acquire. But as you get older, the time you have left in the vessel you are in only gets shorter. You start itching for more keys, and the biggest of them all is the freedom of what you want to do with the time you have left. I wonder what I will yearn for during my thirties? There are many keys left to feat, but for now, let’s focus on the freedom of mobility.