The first thing I do after clocking in at work is head over to the local coffee shop and buy myself a coffee. Usually I go for an iced vanilla latte with a splash of oat milk. On cold days, the same drink, but nice and hot. On tough days, a cold brew with oat milk. I briskly walk back to work with the cup in my hand and whisper to myself “I’m going to have a good day”.
The problem is, I can never finish my coffee. I always hit the below-half-way mark but it leaves my mind right then and there. When I am finishing up with work, that’s when I notice that my coffee has not been finished. I always feel guilty at that moment, because spending $5 every work day for a latte in Los Angeles is not cheap. But, even with the known fact that I never finish, I continue this pattern daily. What makes me do this? Is it the routine that gets me going? Is it the fact that I feel cool walking by strangers with a coffee in my hand? There’s really no clear answer quite yet.
To me, the full cup of coffee in the morning defines power and is ready to take on the day. But the almost-done-but-not-just-yet coffee defines weak, but still has potential. Which honestly, defines me on a daily basis. I realized that everyday I buy a cup of coffee to receive a reminder that today is going to be a new day. I walk from the local shop down to my workplace with the strength of the full cup, showing myself and everyone around me that I am ready to give my all. But as the day goes by, I lose energy. I begin to shut down. But I never reach the point of giving up, and continue to push forward until the sun goes down and it’s time to clock out.
Moral of the story is, give yourself credit for trying. Just because you don’t finish your coffee that you spend your hard working money on, doesn’t mean you didn’t put in effort to finish in the first place. The coffee served its purpose, and it did the job by bringing light to your new day. So I just want to say, thank you for the daily reminder that I am overall still trying, almost-done-but-not-just-yet coffee.
She Blooms In June - by Lilia 