When I was younger, my father would tell me “If you don’t eat every grain of rice on your plate, you’ll wake up tomorrow and see that your eyeball exploded”. My childish brain believed that and always made sure I finished my rice because I was scared. Thinking about it now, in what way could it have exploded – and how? It’s laughable, really. But it also makes me wish I could still have that naive mindset I had when I was six years old; not having to overthink so many different scenarios. The older you become, I realize that the more wasteful you become; of time, money, and life itself. I have wasted far too much time on people who didn’t deserve me, money that could have been put to better causes, and finding excuses that led to keeping my life at a stagnant (if not lower) point. When you are young, you don’t live in the future, you live in the moment. As we get older, we begin to start stressing, overanalyzing, and losing trust in ourselves and the people around us. We lose that spark of being naive – as cliche as this is; we grow up. We all grow up the hard way, of having to grow through situations we never thought we would as a child. We get thrown into the fire in hopes that we will survive the pain. Some do, some don’t. I wish I could tell my younger self, to stay true to yourself, and enjoy the time you left to stay naive towards this cruel world because life is about to hit you quick and hard. Because it will never be easy, but I hope that it will get easier, one day at a time.
You are all probably confused as to what I am trying to preach. Of course, being naive longer will not prepare you to be ready for the hardships in adulthood. But you live and you learn. I grew up having to teach myself how to be an adult at the age of fourteen. I wish I could have had the choice to stay naive and childish for a longer period of time, to enjoy my youth and prolonged my trust, before having no choice but to push it all away.
I made a vow to myself, from this day on, I will cherish my time, money, and life itself, to the fullest extent. I want to continue being true to myself like I was in my younger days, to live in the moment and have fun with this journey, whether it is cruel or compassionate. And one day, I’ll tell my kids what my father used to tell me, letting them have the freedom to be naive for as long as they can be.
She Blooms In June - by Lilia 