I constantly ponder over this idea of becoming ‘content’ with life itself, when I know and understand that we will never truly find out the answer to that. but for some reason, that is the only way I can find myself motivated to continue this exhaustion I go through every day. when people say ‘enjoy life while it lasts, how can we possibly enjoy it if we don’t know what we are chasing after? What is the true meaning of ‘living every day as if it’s your last when you have life responsibilities that you have to attend to, that aren’t in your choices of ‘enjoyment’?
Change is difficult. change makes you think a lot, more than usual. I see myself as a terrible overthinker, and I tend to think about negatives before the positives. it’s hard to get over that habit, especially if you have been stuck in that mindset since you could even remember. I recently went through lots of changes: starting my next chapter in a new company, moving to a new apartment, and studying self-realization. I’ve been shutting down a lot more these past few weeks; making it more difficult to get back up and push myself.
Because of the whole ‘content’ thought, I continue to wake up each morning to make a cup of coffee, head to work, and to prove my worth. Even though I may never figure out or reach that point in my life, at least I can sleep the hard day off and try again the next day.
I have not been writing at all, and I deeply apologize (to myself and you lovely readers), but all I can say is that I am trying my best, just like you. Even though we have lots of unanswered questions, we can all agree that it is a blessing to be able to think and ask these questions.
love always,
shebloomsinjune x
She Blooms In June - by Lilia 